Harnessing a cacophony of distortion, Christian Music’s debut album European Tribunal reflects the gallows humour and pessimistic energy endemic of Britain in the 2020s. It is the perfect soundtrack to thrash around to in the remaining days of our crumbling empire.
My favourite track of the album is the closing song ‘VRS’, a thundering eight and a half minutes of the most danceable noise rock riffs you can hear in the UK. The band knows how to keep you engaged throughout, with their ability to use one main riff but evolve on it to take it to new places you would not expect. As well, they know when to bring the energy down to shoot it back up again to levels even higher than before, just to keep you on your toes.
I was fortunate enough to be able to see this band play live at their vinyl release show at the Artisan Tap, in Hartshill, Stoke-on-Trent, and I was just equally impressed with the openers (they were called Mercury, check them out). My main memory from the night was standing in the doorway entranced as this erratic topless man commanded the room like a conductor of chaos with some of the best stage presence I’ve seen in my life. It was such a physical performance that I felt exhausted just standing there holding a pint.
Christian Music’s debut album is a triumph of U.K. noise rock, and more people should be talking about it. If you ever get the opportunity to see these plays live, do not miss it; they are one of the most energetic and engaging acts out there in our current music landscape and you’re in for an unforgettable evening.
