ADDRESS: Keele
Newcastle-under-Lyme
Staffordshire
ST5 5BG
United Kingdom
E-MAIL: y0f33@students.keele.ac.uk
In a bold move to improve youth engagement, government officials have announced a new initiative requiring the immediate creation of more Gen Z-hosted podcasts. The new policy, aimed at boosting cultural discourse among young people, mandates that every new podcast must feature a twink with a moustache, a girl with an effortlessly cool fashion sense, […]
anonymous
Predicted to have the biggest Oscars sweep since The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, Shrek 5 is what some critics may perceive as ‘Oscar-bait’. However, the film has garnered the support of various populations unlike other awarded films. Presently, the lgbtq+ community, Mexicans, and drug cartel kingpins have voiced their support for […]
anonymous
In yet another shocking example of Keele overfunding unnecessary ideas, Vice-Chancellor Trevor McMillan has personally donated tens of thousands of pounds, alongside diverting excess funds from SHAG week to Concourse in aid of developing their branded sex toys. In a private interview with the Vice-Chancellor, the Concourse team found that his large donation: “Has nothing […]
andrew-gurney
The human body produces a hormone called oxytocin, which is associated with trust, empathy, lust, and relationship building.But frogs don’t have that.Instead, they have their own hormone called mesotocin.This does the same thing as oxytocin and drives frogs to look for a mate, or for some, look for their young.Just like oxytocin in us humans, […]
alder-woods
Students and staff woke up yesterday to find that the “Forest of Light” had mysteriously vanished overnight. In its place, in Union Square, stood a 100-meter-tall bronze statue of the honourable Vice Chancellor, named “The Beacon of Success” or B.S. for short. The official university press release hailed this bold new development as “a strategic […]
anonymous
Throughout the years, representations in the media of UFOs and Aliens have spiked curiosity and instilled fear in populations globally. Only more recently, however, have governmental bodies, such as that in the US, confirmed the existence of aliens. Here at Keele, the Observatory had picked up on a phenomenon that shocked researchers, and soon they […]
anonymous
As of recent, the student union have received an influx of complaints about the completion of the Keele Quintuple, claiming it was “too short”. The Keele quintuple challenges students to have intercourse in 5 key Keele landmarks, consisting of Keele Hall, the Student Union, Keele library, the woods, and the chapel. This challenge was thought […]
anonymous
